Finding Out
by silveralopix
Summary: A collection of drabbles about how I imagined Arthur finding out about Merlin's secret
1. Chapter 1

**This is not my first fanfic to write although it's the first one to publish. Enjoy and review pleeeease!**

FO1

"Merlin!" Arthur said as he watched his servant walk fast through the forest, wordless, something that wasn't actually fit for him as he would always talk non-stop about things and situations. Merlin ignored the prince who walked in slower rhythm than him because of the tiredness of the earlier quest. They found themselves once again in a dangerous situation against magic and as always Arthur was victorious against his enemies. Or at least that's what he thought…

Merlin had once again saved his "royal backside" without being recognized. Arthur was once again dying and needed to be saved.

"Merlin!" the prince screamed again, without a response. He quickened his pace to reach him and grab his shoulder. Merlin stopped and turned his troubled face to see his master.

"What?" he said trying to keep his voice calm.

"What is wrong with you? You haven't said a word for hours now! You are meant to be cheerful! We won" _We _won, sounded a bit strange to Merlin, but he didn't mind, not really.

"I'm just tired, that's all." said the young man not very convincingly and continued his path.

Arthur wondered what it could be. Curiosity filled his mind. "Were you hurt?" He asked hoping that he wasn't. No answer. _I take that as a no then. _"Where you frightened?" that would be the most apparent answer to his strange behavior but silence proved otherwise. "Did something happen while I was unconscious?" Merlin stopped and then fell onto his knees.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so much that he wouldn't be able to breathe anymore. All of this has reached its line. He didn't want to hide it anymore. He couldn't. He didn't have the strength to hide, to lie and to pretend. "I can't do this anymore." He said in a voice so low that Arthur didn't hear.

Arthur looked at his servant with wonder. He kneeled beside him. "Merlin you can tell me. What is it?"

Merlin looked up small tears running from his eyes. "I don't want to pretend anymore. I can't. It's tearing me up inside and it's so hard to hold it in me when the only thing I wish for is to scream it out loud."

_What on earth is he talking about? _"Merlin you can tell me anything."

"No I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because then you'll have to choose!"

"Choose what Merlin?"

"Between lying to your father and having me executed."

Those words were unexpected. "What could you possibly have done that would get you executed?"

Merlin stood up and walked a few steps away, his back turned. Arthur stood up as well waiting for an explanation.

"You won't like what you are about to hear."

Arthur was prepared. "Tell me anyway." He talked as a friend and not as a master with a calm and firm voice.

Merlin turned around determined to get through with this. He looked into his friend's eyes and said "I was born with magic." He exhaled hard and let the burden slip from his chest.

Arthur raised a brow "You are telling me you are a sorcerer."

"Warlock to be more precise."

"What?"

"A sorcerer is someone who studies and practices magic for years before he can use it, but a warlock is born with magic."

Arthur looked at him strangely. He wondered if he was telling the truth, it was hard to believe that the clumsy person that stood before him was more powerful than him. So he decided to put him in a test.

"Show me."

Merlin took a small rock from the ground and held it in front of him. He looked at it and Arthur focused his eyes on the rock. Then the warlock's eyes went gold and the rock was levitating in the air. He then raised his to see Arthur's expressionless face. A few seconds later the rock fell back to the ground.

Arthur looked at him curiously then he just said "Hmmm…" and walked his way back to Camelot.

"That's all you have to say? Hmmm…" he followed him. "Aren't going to attack me, seize me, yell at me?"

"I'm thinking Merlin! That's what most people do before taking big decisions!" he told him.

They walked through the forest mostly in silent. Arthur begun to see how many times he was saved and how those "incidents of luck", like ceilings collapsing and thick branches of trees breaking and falling, onto their enemies, weren't luck at all. While walking Arthur would ask Merlin about those incidents and Merlin would gladly answer. The prince wished that they would never reach Camelot because he would have to take a big and life changing decision.

But deep down he already knew what he would do…


	2. Chapter 2

FO2

Merlin lay on the cold floor and looked into the lifeless blue eyes of his enemy. He had killed her. Morgana was dead. She would no longer hurt anyone, no longer use dark magic, never breath again, never talk. All of Camelot's worries would end now that she no longer existed. A small river of blood run from her mouth and made a route down her cheek letting the small drops of red drip onto the floor. Her skin was as white as death itself and it seemed as cold as ice.

Merlin turned his head facing onto the half collapsed ceiling, it made it easier for him to breathe that way and looking at the woman he just killed wasn't really a nice sight. He didn't want to kill her, but he had to and now that he looked again at her corpse he thought that he was quite in the same condition. His legs were weak and he couldn't feel them, he must have some broken ribs because every time he moved, piercing pains made him scream, his eyes were burning from the continuous use of magic the last hours and even breathing seemed so hard that he'd rather not to. The only thing he could do was to hope that someone would find him. But even that seemed like a miracle. He was fading away. Merlin was dying...

Arthur rushed into the physician's courts with a bad mood in search of his idiot servant that has not appeared all day. He found Gaius preparing some potions with his head bent down looking in the pot he was stirring.

"Where is that idiot Gaius!" he demanded. The physician didn't bother to look up and continued stirring his potion.

"I... uh... I don't know sire... he... umm... said he would go... I actually gave him some work to do." He decided to answer him. In truth Gaius knew where he would go, he saw him just before he left and wished him good luck the previous night. The fact that now it was noon and he hadn't returned made him wonder as to whether or not he would return at all. Gaius was worried and meanwhile sad that Merlin, who was like a son to him, would have been dead by now.

"Don't try to cover for him. Tell me where he is." The prince insisted. Gaius looked up and Arthur realised that a small tear was about to escape for the corner of his eye. "What happened? Where is he?" he asked now calmer. He moved to his and looked more clearly how troubled his face looked. "Gaius tell me!" he ordered him.

"He went to the forgotten palace of Merza." The prince looked at him with surprise. "He went there to..." he stopped he didn't know if he should tell him.

"To what?"

Gaius took a deep breath. "To find Morgana."

Arthur walked around the room for a minute trying to think. "Why did you not tell me about this?"

"Merlin didn't want you to know. When Morgana called for him he didn't really think it through, he said he wanted to settle this once and for all."

Arthur was confused. Why would Morgana call for him? Why would he go there alone? He had no means to fight her not even he himself could fight her, although this was something he admitted only to himself. So why would he go? It was suicide. "When did he leave?"

"Last night my lord."

Arthur put a hand on his shoulder and said "I'll find him." He paused for a moment. "I hope he is still alive."

He took his fastest horse and run. He run as fast as he could. Hoping, begging for his friend to be alive. He wished that he wouldn't have to face his dead body lying on a cold stoned floor, Morgana's face coming to life with satisfaction and her eyes filled with joy. No. _No!_ He would not let this happen. Merlin is alive! He has to be!

As soon as the palace was in his sight he kicked his horse to go even faster. He grounded his feet and took his sword out, which he thought would be useless but how else would he defend himself? He walked quickly in the half destroyed palace and searched for any sight of Merlin. He looked in chambers and in corridors until he reached the room that in the past would be the throne room.

There he found his friends body lying and just a few metres away Morgana's body as well. But he didn't even bother to check if she was dead, he just rushed to Merlin's side.

He was paler than usual but by Arthur's surprise he was warm at touch, actually more than warm he was burning. "Merlin?" Arthur breathed.

Merlin took the effort to open his eyes. The miracle happened. Arthur had found him. "Arth..ur" He turned his head to see Morgana once again. "Killed her" was all he managed to say.

"You have a fever and your leg is deeply wounded. I must get you back to Camelot." He put a hand under his head and then slowly grabbed his arm trying to put it around his neck but that was a bad idea as Merlin screamed out of pain. "Bear with it for a while Merlin please."

Merlin was limping too much to carry on walking so Arthur decided to carry him on his shoulder. They left the room with the dead Morgana being there alone. Arthur glanced back on his sister's blank face for a last time without having any feelings about it.

The ride back to Camelot was hard for Merlin but Arthur was determined to keep him alive. The people watched curiously as they saw their prince carrying a dying man to the court's physician's chambers. Arthur pushed the door open quickly. "Gaius!"

The man turned to see Merlin in a terrible condition. "Put him on the bed, quickly!" Arthur did as Gaius told him. He let him carefully on the bed and watched as Gaius examined him.

He ripped his trousers to reveal a bad wound. "Fetch me that pot of water that I have on my table please." Arthur did so hastily spilling some water on the floor. He cleaned it thoroughly, stitched it and bandaged it. "Help me take his shirt off." They pulled him up and slowly undressed him. His torso had many purple bruises all over. Gaius placed his fingers on his ribs and gently pushed the flesh in. On particular places Merlin winced making Gaius conclude on what needed to be done. He rolled Merlin on one side and said "Merlin this is going to hurt a bit." Gaius prompt Arthur to hold him. He placed his hands around Merlin's ribs and with a quick movement he placed his ribs back where they should be, causing Merlin to have incredible pain and to scream aloud. They dressed him again, covered him with blankets and placed hot towels on his forehead. They watched him as he struggled to sleep for a while until he calmed down and steadied his breathing.

"Now what?" Arthur asked worryingly.

"We wait until his fever goes down and wakes up." He instructed him. "Sire you should go. I'll stay with him." Arthur looked at him. "I will keep you informed."

Arthur shook his head and left the room. He spent the rest of his day worrying about Merlin and wondering what happened earlier. How could he have killed Morgana when weapons were useless against her? There was only one way he knew that could kill her. Magic. But really Merlin and magic didn't fit into one sentence.

As he and the knights took a break from training Arthur sat down to calm himself from all these thoughts. He didn't know what to think of him. He was Merlin. The plain, simple, idiot, clumsy servant. How could he be a sorcerer? Magic is evil and yet he had saved Camelot from Morgana's wrath and who knows how many times more. Leon interrupted his thoughts as he turned to ask.

"We heard that you carried someone to Gaius today. What happened? Who was it sire?"

Arthur saw how everyone looked at him waiting for an answer. "It was Merlin" he simply said.

"Merlin!" Lancelot asked worryingly.

"Is he alright? Will he recover?" Gawain asked.

"Yes he will." Arthur told him hoping it was true.

"I'll go check on him." Gawain rushed.

"I'll come with you!" Lancelot suggested having the rest of the knights following him.

"Wait!" Arthur commanded.

"Gaius said he needs to rest, so you'll go after we've finished training."

As soon as Arthur called it a day everyone rushed to Gaius' courts to check on Merlin. They found him lying in his bed weak and still in pain so Gaius asked them to leave after a few minutes.

That night, Arthur paced anxiously in his room still wondering if it was true. _Is Merlin really a sorcerer? _And if he were what would he do with him? He was Merlin, he could trust him, right? He saved his life many times. So he couldn't be evil. His thoughts were once again interrupted as someone knocked the door.

"Enter."

Gaius appeared behind from behind the door "Sire Merlin wants to talk with you." Without a second thought Arthur walked quickly towards the door. "Sire!" Gaius shouted making Arthur turn. "I wanted to thank you for bringing him back." Arthur nodded and walked to find Merlin.

He walked through the physician's chamber and opened the small door that lead to Merlin room. He found him lying on the bed, eyes wide open and staring at him. Arthur sat on the chair and looked back at Merlin. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I wanted to thank you for saving me." Then he looked away, watching his fingers as he nervously played with them. He waited for him to ask him, to interrogate him.

So Arthur just did. "Merlin... How did you kill Morgana?"

"How do you think?"

Arthur paused for a minute thinking. "Did you use magic?" he asked plainly.

Merlin looked at him straight in the eyes. He was not afraid. "Yes."

"Hmm... And how long have you used magic?"

Merlin shrugged. "Before I could even talk."

Arthur raised his brows in amazement. "Then you have a long story to tell."

They both laughed at that and a long night begun...


	3. Chapter 3

FO3

Polishing boots and armour, cleaning Arthur's chambers, sharpening swords, washing his shirts, mucking out the stables, delivering the king's food in time, listening to his constant shouting at him for not doing his chores right, was enough to keep Merlin distracted one whole day. Distracted from the horrible memories that happened like today some years ago.

Freya's death. Every time this year Merlin would try and distract himself from remembering that night, from visualizing again that boat that carried his loved one's body and then disappearing into his magic flames. How he wished he was with her... by her side at Avalon...

Arthur of course couldn't help but notice his manservant's strange behaviour. He didn't really fancy the "Obedient Merlin", nor did he like the "sire" and "my lord" at the end of his sentences, but what really annoyed him was him being so quiet, which was truly so not Merlin. He tried insulting him but with no response. He gave him more workload but he never complained, he actually seemed to want it. By night, when it was time for everyone to rest and the king retired to his chambers, he found Merlin polishing his boots. He was holding the brush tightly in his hand and rubbed it against the boot so hard that it was a miracle he didn't cause a hole to it.

"Are you going to tell me what it is or will I have to force it out of you?" the king said with his prattish-like tone.

Merlin looked up at him "I don't know what you mean." And then he continued with the boot.

_Force it out of you then_. He sat beside him on the floor. "Is it something _I_ did?"

He placed the boot next to its pair and stood up. "If you don't need anything else Sire I shall let you for the evening."

"Merlin" he said calm. He just wanted to know what made him had such a sad face and such empty eyes, but Merlin really didn't want to talk, he couldn't, he just wanted to drown in his own sorrow. He turned away and left as he heard from behind him a louder "Merlin!" but he just ignored it.

Arthur was unable to sleep. He was wounded from the training session that day but forgot to mention it to anyone, so the pain got bigger and his shoulder now had a swollen pink redish colour. He tried to change his position but it was pointless, it still hurt. Not being happy to admit it he decided to find Gaius. He dressed up quickly and hurried down the corridor and down to the stairs. As he was reaching the court physician's room he stopped when he saw Merlin sneaking out through the night holding a brown bag around his shoulder. _This could solve the mystery._ Arthur followed him out of Camelot and into the forest only to reach a magnificent lake, he thought he saw before. He hid behind the tree and watched his servant carefully as he opened his back and let some unlit candles flow in the lake. _What's the idiot doing, letting candles flow unlit on a lake, in the middle of nowhere?_

And then it happened. Arthur did not believe his eyes as Merlin outstretched his arm, eyes glowing gold and whispering "Forbærne" the candles lit and made the lake's surface brighter. Then, he waited silently and very still, _for what? _The lake went from calm to waves as a feminin figure arose from the depths of the lake. A broad smile painted Merlin's face and tears of joys and pain as well run down his cheekbones. "Freya" he whispered.

The beautiful girl reached Merlin and he cupped her face in his palms. She smiled back at him and enjoyed the warmth of his touch. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to hers. "I missed you my love."

"I missed you too. I miss you so much; I want to be with you."

"No, Merlin. Your purpose here is not yet fulfilled." She paused as he took her hands in his and squeezed them lightly. "Our time will come when we shall be together." They touched their foreheads and remained silence trying to catch the sweetness of the moment. "I cannot stay for long." She said sadly.

He didn't try to stop her from leaving, for she did not belong to this world. Staying here was painful for her and he really didn't want her to suffer. They let their hands go and she once again sunk into the lake of immortality. Merlin could not stop his tears nor did he want them to. She was once again gone.

Arthur stood silently with guilt and wonder altogether. He didn't know what to do. He froze there, against the tree. How was he supposed to make his friend trust him enough to tell him about his magic when he was the one who killed the woman he loved...

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><p>I know it took me ages to update but please R&amp;R :)<p> 


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